a passion some people might not understand

Lately I have had a few thoughts about a passion of mine. Adoption. People have said many things to me over the years when I express my passion, some good and some bad. The other day many of the things people have said to me were brought back to memory as I watched a special on TV about adoptive parents receiving a hard time from strangers or family members for adopting a child of a different color or from a different country. I was disgusted by what some people have said to these parents and then I realized that I have heard some of the same things just from expressing my own passion to adopt.

First let me say that I have seen a lot in this world. More then what some people twice my age have seen.  Of course there are some who have seen much more and some who just don't care to see anything at all. I just want to say that from what I have to say, it's not just mumbo jumbo, it's from actual experience.

Ever since I can remember, I have loved to travel, loved to help people in need and loved children. To me, a mission trip that focused on children was the best thing in the world. It also raised a passion in me, from a very early age, to want to adopt. Of course I want children of my own, but I also wanted to adopt. Some people have said to me 'why adopt if you can have your own kids, you should save the children for the adults who actually can't have children'. Others have said to me or people I know when we mention that we would love to adopt from another country 'how dare you take a child from their own country' or 'how could you love a child of a different color as much as your own' or 'people will always look at you funny if you have a colored child, make sure to adopt one of your own color' or 'well, I just don't know if I could accept your adopted child as much as your biological ones'. When people say these things to me or people I know, it truly makes me angry.

I have been to many different places in this world and have met many different orphans. I have heard their stories and watched them cry. I have looked into the face of a child who has no hope. I have looked in the face of a child whom I knew would most likely be sold into slavery someday. Ones who have been abused, ones who are simply an item to be sold. And no, I am not ever exaggerating.

In Romania, for instance, there are a lot of families who cannot afford their children or family who simply do not want their children for the first few years of their lives so they drop them off at orphanages. I have seen children who have been purposely disabled by their parents so that when the child is old enough to beg from people on the streets, they will make more money for their parents because they can no longer walk. There were children whose legs had been broken by their own parents and purposely healed crooked so they could never walk again. Many of these children, after being disabled, are dropped off at the orphanage until they are ages 3-5, the age a child can begin to beg, then picked up and forced to work on the streets.
    There are also so many orphans in Romania that the government cannot do anything for the children when they are let go from an orphanage. Once a child is 18 they are kicked out of the orphanage with no place to go, no food and no money. Orphanages are not a pretty place in most countries. I have seen rows of babies lined up laying in soiled beds because no one has changed their diapers for hours and they have begun to fall off. I have looked these children in the eyes who have been there their whole lives and I can't help but want to cry because they are cross eyed, because when they were a baby they had nothing to look at but white walls, no one ever played with them and their eyes never learned to focus properly.

It's sad. It breaks my heart. It's not just one country, it's many. I have been to orphanages in Morocco where it is a common custom to drop girls off when they are babies and come pick them up around the age of 5 so they can be sold to a richer family to be a servant. If you go to orphanages in Morocco, you will not see many girls over the age of 5 and this is the reason why. I met many young girls when I was there, all 2, 3, and 4. The particular orphanage we stayed at actually tried to make a family type of home for the children and couples would dedicate 18 plus years of their lives to come and live at this orphanage and be these children's parents. But these acting parents were in fear that every daughter they had would one day be taken away and be sold because some parents never gave over their full rights and could pick them up at any time. Imagine being these children's acting parents and raising them for 5 years, from when they were just a little baby and watch them grow and then one day having to let go, knowing what would happen to them, knowing they would be some families servant to do whatever they wished to, knowing you couldn't do a thing about it and it was just for their parents to make a few bucks.

I have seen children that live in cardboard houses or on the streets, that have aids, that are starving, that have holes in their shoes, that are sick and can get no help, children that steal or scavenge through garbage just to get by, children that just need someone, anyone, to just be with, to hug, to cry with, to have someone love them. I have looked into the eyes of countless children that I know will be kicked out onto the streets once they can no longer live in orphanages, looked in the eyes of children who know their parents only see them as a trading tool, parents that see them as a way to make a buck, children who have been beaten, abused in countless ways, children who literally have no hope and just need someone to love them.

I'm sure there are a few people who read this and could say to me 'well Kayla, there are children like that in America too and you should help the American children first'... yes, there are children like this in America, but really, a child in need is a child in need, does it really matter where they came from, how old they are, what color they are and who you are 'supposed' to help first. They are all in need, they all need someone to help them, to simply love them. I believe we should do everything in our power to help children in need, whether they live right down the street from you or live half way across the world. You say to me 'why overseas adoption?' and I will say 'why not?'

Still some will say 'well you should let the parents in those countries adopt those children, it's better for them to stay there, you need to adopt from your own country or state'. Truthfully, I would say to you that I also think it's better for parents from a child's home country to adopt them. I also do know that is not very likely to happen because most countries with high orphan rates are very poor countries and people cannot afford to adopt no matter how much they want to and I believe it is better for a child to be raised in a home where people love them and care for them (even if they are a different color or different country) then to live in an orphanage where they will be/could be mistreated, malnourished, and sold and/or kicked out of the only home they know with no hope at the young age of 18.

I don't expect everyone to understand why some of us chose to adopt, whether from our own country or some place else. I just hope that even if people don't agree, they treat the children and the adoptive parents with great amounts of respect. A lot of children have gone through more then you or I could ever imagine and someone judging them adds to an already heavy load and adoptive parents should be respected for taking a child in need into their home and loving them like their own.

Wedding

This past Saturday I shot my first ever wedding. I was rather nervous going into the day considering the only thing I have ever done photography wise has been graduation pictures and posing pictures to raise money in Switzerland. I wasn't supposed to do all the posing shots this time though. No, they had another, professional, photographer there for part of the day to shoot all the posing shots and the ceremony. I was there more in the background while the bride got ready and to catch all the activity going on behind the scenes.

The day didn't start out to my liking, I have to admit. When I woke up that morning it was -30 degrees. Brrrrrr....!!!!! My brother was kind enough to start my car at 7AM when he went to start his (he was going to work) so when I got to my car it wasn't like I was sitting on ice blocks. About 4-5 miles from my parents home my tire decides that it wants to go flat. For most people this creates a problem, for me, well it wasn't just a small problem, it was gigantic! One, I wasn't dressed for -30 degree weather, I was dressed in wedding clothes. Two, my parents live in the middle of nowhere, literally. There was not going to be any car driving by any time soon that could help. Three, I did not have a phone (not like it would have worked in the middle of nowhere, but it might have). And four, well, I've only changed a tire once and I could barely lift the thing onto the spokes, so I wasn't really going to try to change a tire that I knew I probably couldn't while freezing my bum off and frostbiting my fingers. Not to mention, I was going to be late for the brides hair appointment.

So what does a girl do in my situation? Well, you get you not-dressed-warm-enough bum out of the car and speed walk to the nearest house to use their phone meanwhile freezing your lungs, cheeks, ears, nose, eyes and any other part of your body that wasn't covered. I was worried of course. I mean, who knows whose house I'm going to knock on, it could be some creepy murder for all I knew! Also, if these people didn't answer their door there wasn't another house within a mile of where I was that I could walk to and ask for help.

Luckily, a rather large man in his 50's (and in his PJ's) answered the door and was very nice and let me use his phone. I called my parents where I woke up my Dad from his peaceful slumber. He agreed to come change my tire and I told him where I was at. Unfortunately, he was half asleep while I was talking to him so he took the wrong road to come and find me and headed towards Duluth before he realized that he was going too far and needed to turn around. By the time he arrived it was already 8 o'clock and that was when the brides hair appointment was supposed to start. My Dad was kind enough to just let me take his car to the wedding and he would drive my car home after he fixed the tire.

By the time I arrived at the hair appointment the bride was already done with her hair appointment. I felt extremely bad but she didn't seem to mind at all. I did get a few shots of her doing her nails and hanging out with her other bridesmaids while they got their hair done.

We headed to the church and the bride got ready.

Like I said, I wasn't really there to do the posed pictures but I did catch a few and some other random pictures.

Then there was the ceremony of course...

And then came the party!

The first dance...

During the Father-Daughter dance...

The groom and the mother of the bride...

One of the ring bearers and the flower girl (also brother and sister)...

Time to party!

I left around 10 o'clock at night when the dollar dance had started. It ended up being a fun day and I also learned a lot about taking pictures!

Congratulations Tim and Breanna!!!

two complete opposites

As you know, I am pregnant again. Josh and I wanted our children close together and we were so excited to find out that we had a new edition coming to our family.

Coming into this pregnancy I had a lot of expectations. Since I had been pregnant once before, I felt like I kind of knew what to expect. Of course I knew that every pregnancy is a little different, but over all, I expected it to be somewhat similar. My oh my, was I surprised!

This pregnancy is nothing like my last. First, I expected to feel sick in the beginning. Never happened. With Gabriel I was sick all day long for 3 months! It wasn't an awful, hanging over the toilet kind of sick, just being nauseous all day and feeling like I should be over the toilet instead of miserably holding it in. I ended up loosing weight in that pregnancy in the beginning, though made up for it probably by the time I hit 20 weeks. This time, almost nothing. I rarely felt sick, and if I did it was easily curable by eating something. I did however start feeling sick around 12 weeks, which is when my sickness stopped with my last. But still, normally curable if I ate, the problem was I needed to eat something that sounded good and nothing sounded good... except pickles (Mmmm, yummy pickles!), and those don't fill you up. But now, as I'm past the 16 week mark I am feeling much better.

I also expected to show earlier with this one then with Gabriel. That is the rule of thumb, that you will show sooner the more children you have. Alas, did not happen. I waited and waited (cause I LOVE my belly bump) and now, finally by 16 weeks I have a little something! With Gabriel, I was already in maternity clothes by this point. I could make my pants work by unbuttoning them and using hair ties, but usually I just opted for maternity clothes since they were more comfortable. This time? I am still in all of my regular clothes. I can still button all of my pants and they are more then comfortable. The only thing that is different is I don't have to wear a belt (most of the time, some of my pants I still need one) and some of my shirts that were a little short to begin with, now show my belly if I bend the wrong way.

By this time with Gabriel, he was kicking up a storm in my belly. Even by 14 weeks I was feeling him all the time. I seriously felt him constantly, all day long. Even Josh could feel him almost any time he wanted too because he never stopped. He used to kick so hard he would make me jump, literally. This little bug? Didn't feel it until just after 14 weeks and it was this tiny little thump. Even now, if I feel the baby move, it's these soft, gentle little thumps, pretty much as gentle as pressing on your stomach and feeling your own heart beat. With Gabriel it was like WHAM! I'M HERE MOMMY! I DON'T WANT YOU TO FORGET IT!!! Of course, he is still kind of like that.... maybe that means this one is going to be gentle....

I expected to gain weight by now, hasn't happened yet (not going to complain about that one!).

There are some smells that I just cannot handle with this one like I could with Gabriel. Like fish for instance, blah! Or the taste of fish for that matter. Also, Oriental food smells make me sick... it's a good thing I don't live in Korea anymore!

Also, once I over my sickness with Gabriel at 12 weeks, I could pretty much eat anything except ranch from United Healthcare (hey, it's some funky stuff). This time? Oh gosh. Things can sounds so incredibly good, but the texture can make me gag. Or, the texture can be just fine until after I chew it a little bit and then it will make me gag... like pancakes for instance!

What is similar about my pregnancies... not much. My babies seem to not like me eating eggs while I'm pregnant, even though they sound so gosh darn yummy all of the time! And I'm tired all the time, naps are a necessity! Hmm... that's about it. I never knew that two pregnancies could be more different!