a passion some people might not understand

Lately I have had a few thoughts about a passion of mine. Adoption. People have said many things to me over the years when I express my passion, some good and some bad. The other day many of the things people have said to me were brought back to memory as I watched a special on TV about adoptive parents receiving a hard time from strangers or family members for adopting a child of a different color or from a different country. I was disgusted by what some people have said to these parents and then I realized that I have heard some of the same things just from expressing my own passion to adopt.

First let me say that I have seen a lot in this world. More then what some people twice my age have seen.  Of course there are some who have seen much more and some who just don't care to see anything at all. I just want to say that from what I have to say, it's not just mumbo jumbo, it's from actual experience.

Ever since I can remember, I have loved to travel, loved to help people in need and loved children. To me, a mission trip that focused on children was the best thing in the world. It also raised a passion in me, from a very early age, to want to adopt. Of course I want children of my own, but I also wanted to adopt. Some people have said to me 'why adopt if you can have your own kids, you should save the children for the adults who actually can't have children'. Others have said to me or people I know when we mention that we would love to adopt from another country 'how dare you take a child from their own country' or 'how could you love a child of a different color as much as your own' or 'people will always look at you funny if you have a colored child, make sure to adopt one of your own color' or 'well, I just don't know if I could accept your adopted child as much as your biological ones'. When people say these things to me or people I know, it truly makes me angry.

I have been to many different places in this world and have met many different orphans. I have heard their stories and watched them cry. I have looked into the face of a child who has no hope. I have looked in the face of a child whom I knew would most likely be sold into slavery someday. Ones who have been abused, ones who are simply an item to be sold. And no, I am not ever exaggerating.

In Romania, for instance, there are a lot of families who cannot afford their children or family who simply do not want their children for the first few years of their lives so they drop them off at orphanages. I have seen children who have been purposely disabled by their parents so that when the child is old enough to beg from people on the streets, they will make more money for their parents because they can no longer walk. There were children whose legs had been broken by their own parents and purposely healed crooked so they could never walk again. Many of these children, after being disabled, are dropped off at the orphanage until they are ages 3-5, the age a child can begin to beg, then picked up and forced to work on the streets.
    There are also so many orphans in Romania that the government cannot do anything for the children when they are let go from an orphanage. Once a child is 18 they are kicked out of the orphanage with no place to go, no food and no money. Orphanages are not a pretty place in most countries. I have seen rows of babies lined up laying in soiled beds because no one has changed their diapers for hours and they have begun to fall off. I have looked these children in the eyes who have been there their whole lives and I can't help but want to cry because they are cross eyed, because when they were a baby they had nothing to look at but white walls, no one ever played with them and their eyes never learned to focus properly.

It's sad. It breaks my heart. It's not just one country, it's many. I have been to orphanages in Morocco where it is a common custom to drop girls off when they are babies and come pick them up around the age of 5 so they can be sold to a richer family to be a servant. If you go to orphanages in Morocco, you will not see many girls over the age of 5 and this is the reason why. I met many young girls when I was there, all 2, 3, and 4. The particular orphanage we stayed at actually tried to make a family type of home for the children and couples would dedicate 18 plus years of their lives to come and live at this orphanage and be these children's parents. But these acting parents were in fear that every daughter they had would one day be taken away and be sold because some parents never gave over their full rights and could pick them up at any time. Imagine being these children's acting parents and raising them for 5 years, from when they were just a little baby and watch them grow and then one day having to let go, knowing what would happen to them, knowing they would be some families servant to do whatever they wished to, knowing you couldn't do a thing about it and it was just for their parents to make a few bucks.

I have seen children that live in cardboard houses or on the streets, that have aids, that are starving, that have holes in their shoes, that are sick and can get no help, children that steal or scavenge through garbage just to get by, children that just need someone, anyone, to just be with, to hug, to cry with, to have someone love them. I have looked into the eyes of countless children that I know will be kicked out onto the streets once they can no longer live in orphanages, looked in the eyes of children who know their parents only see them as a trading tool, parents that see them as a way to make a buck, children who have been beaten, abused in countless ways, children who literally have no hope and just need someone to love them.

I'm sure there are a few people who read this and could say to me 'well Kayla, there are children like that in America too and you should help the American children first'... yes, there are children like this in America, but really, a child in need is a child in need, does it really matter where they came from, how old they are, what color they are and who you are 'supposed' to help first. They are all in need, they all need someone to help them, to simply love them. I believe we should do everything in our power to help children in need, whether they live right down the street from you or live half way across the world. You say to me 'why overseas adoption?' and I will say 'why not?'

Still some will say 'well you should let the parents in those countries adopt those children, it's better for them to stay there, you need to adopt from your own country or state'. Truthfully, I would say to you that I also think it's better for parents from a child's home country to adopt them. I also do know that is not very likely to happen because most countries with high orphan rates are very poor countries and people cannot afford to adopt no matter how much they want to and I believe it is better for a child to be raised in a home where people love them and care for them (even if they are a different color or different country) then to live in an orphanage where they will be/could be mistreated, malnourished, and sold and/or kicked out of the only home they know with no hope at the young age of 18.

I don't expect everyone to understand why some of us chose to adopt, whether from our own country or some place else. I just hope that even if people don't agree, they treat the children and the adoptive parents with great amounts of respect. A lot of children have gone through more then you or I could ever imagine and someone judging them adds to an already heavy load and adoptive parents should be respected for taking a child in need into their home and loving them like their own.